The Great When by Alan Moore
The London Overground
In college, I took a phenomenal course on comics taught by Professor Michael Sharp1, and I remember him saying that each year when he revises the syllabus, he changes the books to be read, but one was always present and always will be: Watchmen by Alan Moore. That’s for good reason. Moore himself would even agree, as evidenced by the humble bio on the inside flap of the book I’m about to review:
I didn’t know that he also wrote novels, so when I did find that out, I was excited. When I found out it was a fantasy adventure through post-WWII London and the start of a series, I was titillated. When I found out it was also generally well-received, I was positively captivated.
Let’s dive in!
Spoiler-Free Summary
Dennis Knuckleyard would say this was the worst time of his life, if he ever had a better one. He lives in a dilapidated bookstore run by the extremely misanthropic and ancient “Coffin Ada”. He has no money, no romantic interests, and his only two friends in the world barely have time for him. Running an errand for Ada, he comes across a book, a fairly normal occurrence for a bookshop employee. This book is unique however in that it doesn’t exist. You heard me.
Dennis discovers a second London called The Great When, made of the primordial ideas that crystallize into the city we call London. He befriends a tree, a prostitute, a man with an iron leg, and the concept of crime.
Then, things get weird.
Click it or ticket:
The Bad
I’m starting with the negatives this time around, because I think it makes more narrative sense, and because it’s my Substack so I can do what I want. Deal with it.
You have to have a very robust tolerance for opaqueness and confusion to enjoy Alan Moore, and that is doubly true here. In fact, the first 50 pages of the novel are nearly indecipherable. The only way to enjoy it is to just let your eyes glide across the page, appreciate the vivid imagery, and trust in Moore’s ability. Even if you can do that, it’s a challenge. If I didn’t know who Alan Moore was and had no reason to believe he’d pull it together eventually, I would have put this book down and never picked it up again.
There is also a surprise very close to the end of the novel, and I don’t want to spoil it2, but I do want to talk about it. Forgive me as I tip toe around this. As The Great When is wrapping up, we learn a basic fact about one of the main characters that immediately results in Dennis swearing off and abandoning the character forever. Is the mystery that this character runs a side business drowning puppies? Nope. It’s a very basic demographic data point about this character that they cannot change nor did they choose, but because it…hmm…affects Dennis’ prospects with this character, he throws away the rest of their relationship. It’s chauvinistic, out of character, and frankly, kind of gross.
The Good
If you can get through the first 50 pages or so, The Great When really opens up and is wonderfully imaginative and adventurous. The imagery is maybe as vivid as any I’ve ever read, and Moore really lets his mind unspool in the weirdest, most fantastical ways. Here’s an example of one of the more bizarre character descriptions, this one the “Infered Saracen”, which is a powerful entity in the second London:
Balancing out all of this weirdness is the links to reality with which Moore liberally seasons his text. Not only does he masterfully capture the attitude and mindset of post-blitz London, but he inserts real people into the narrative. Of course, being Alan Moore, these people are some of the more colorful folks to ever walk the streets of London, but they are real nonetheless. Some of them include:
As it turns out, The Great When itself is a nod to a real saying. William Cobbett referred to London in the 1820s as the Great Wen - a “wen” being a sebaceous cyst. He saw the growing city as a pustule growing out of the countryside. Tethers like this to the real world serve two functions: they keep the fantasy elements from getting completely out of hand, and they imbue a sense of authenticity. It was great fun to look up these characters only to find out they were real folk, and learn something along the way.
One last thing before I write far too much for a change. Moore is hysterically funny, but in such a subdued, quiet way. He’s exceedingly talented at dropping a tiny, but hilarious three-or-four words at the end of a sentence. It’s delightful.
Memorable Quotes
So many, but here’s 5 I saved as I read.
Climbing through half-demolished streets into the dark, Dennis found himself thinking of the countless eggs of iron and fire that had fallen in the last ten years, some of them not yet hatched. Curled metal embryos, they slept beneath the amniotic rubble, saving up their birth wails for an unsuspecting future. This was the whole problem with the past, that it was never really over, when the dreadful bricks of yesterday were what tomorrow would be built from.
Comes so close to over-extending the metaphor, then drops a sentence like that last one. *chefs kiss*
Unable to recall a time of ever being in his depth, Dennis was nonetheless aware that he was getting out of it. He carried on, not quite regardless.
Made me laugh.
<Spoken by Coffin Ada, who is nearly constantly coughing> I don’t mean this unkindly Dennis, but youre a cough cough cough fucking halfwit.
Also made me laugh.
<Describing Coffin Ada> …hair like starched steam…
I love a simile that you’ve never thought of before but instantly know precisely what it means.
As for all the other moments of that thunderous night, they too were lost, buried beneath the mountainous embroidery that Dennis had adorned his tale with in its numerous playground retellings, so that many of his memories were simply things that he’d forgotten making up.
I don’t know, I just like it.
Final Thoughts
Alan Moore, who famously is vehemently opposed to adaptations of his work (like the Watchmen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movies), is allowing The Great When to be adapted and is seemingly excited about it. That should tell you something about how he feels about this story, and I think I feel similarly. It’s not an easy book - it’s best read with wikipedia open and a fair bit of patience - and it’s not without flaws, but it is a wondrous fantasy adventure which has made me very excited for the rest of the planned pentalogy.3 I think I’ve used this phrase before, but…
5/1 Stars
Nancy Oakes gives 5 stars and writes:
as soon as life gets a bit slower, I will write something more about this amazing book.
I feel you, Nancy.
Sarah gives one star:
I was fighting for my life by page 5. Incomprehensible.
Sarah, I just told you, you have to get 50 or so pages in. Pay attention.
Who Should Read This?
Rating
Alan Moore and The Great When have been awarded 4/5 trippy Big Bens. Congrats!
Until next time, turn on, tune in, and drop out.
Incidentally, also the man behind Rex Parker, crossword hero!
It’s getting increasingly hard to talk about these books without spoiling anything. If anyone has an idea of how I can make a separate bit of the post that deals with them, without inadvertantly ruining it for anyone who wants to read the thing and stay fresh, let me know. Substack doesn’t allow for spoiler tags, so I can’t make it a “click here to reveal” kind of thing.
I really thought the word would be quintilogy, but turns out its pentalogy. Then again, the ad copy calls it a quintet. Ho hum.
Wow! What a review! Got a bit nervous with the drown puppy reference! Loved that the past is never rally over… So true. A beautifully written review of a difficult book. Write on!